Your “Science” Update!

You like science, right? Science is cool.  So once in a while Hypeoxia is going to update you on what’s happening in the scientific community, and it has nothing to do with Hillary’s mystery illness.

1. NASA plans to launch a space ship to dig up some gravel (about 5 handfulls) from an asteroid and bring it back to planet earth.  The cost? $800 million. But what if I just give them a bucket full of gravel from my driveway for, say, $800 thousand and we call it even, then we spend the rest of the money on upgrading the Amtrak railroad tracks?

2. Speaking of Amtrak, they’re ordering some trains that can go much faster than the current tracks will allow – maybe up to 220MPH – but upgrading tracks is expensive.  Something like one hundred billion jillion per mile. I can’t afford that!

3. Buy your harpoons at Walmart! It’s time to go fishing, for whales!  Or is it whaling?  I think it’s whaling.  You get the idea.  But not just any whale – the humpback whale, because it’s off the endangered species list.  And what do we say to the god of getting off the endangered species list?  Not today!  Of course, this doesn’t apply to some species of Alaskan humpback whales, but if you asked me to tell you the difference, I couldn’t do it!

4. An electromagnetic storm could occur in the next 150 years, called a Carrington Event, obliterating GPS, cell phones and satellites. As long as you know how to use bread crumbs to find your way around your yard, you’ll be fine. There’s a chance it could destroy the emails on your private server as well, without the use of a hammer. I don’t know. Your best protection could be an aluminum foil hat!

5. Well this is fantastic news for those who love eating turtle eggs.  Seems as though Atlantic Ocean sea turtles are laying a record number of eggs on the coast of North Carolina.  Do you fancy turtle omelettes or turtle french toast?  Do you remember the guy who was stealing turtle eggs from the beach and got caught before he could cook them? You can’t be greedy when it comes to taking eggs from the beach, and sometimes it’s best to make your meal on the sand.

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