Millennials are About to F%&# Everything Up

The year is 2018. It is the day after Christmas. The United States Commander in Chief, one President Donald Trump, has launched a surprise invasion of North Korea to ‘teach them a lesson’ because they sailed too close to a nearby US Naval warship. Several generals warn against this course of action but President Trump has them all fired, and finds some that will agree with him. Within hours, bombs start raining down the skies above Pyongyang. North Korea almost immediately launches 3 nuclear-tipped long range missiles into Seoul, South Korea, Tokyo, Japan and Anchorage, Alaska. Military experts are surprised at their accuracy and power. There is no defense against these weapons. They detonate, killing 500,000 and wounding another 200,000 civilians. South Korea and the United States respond in kind by firing three nuclear weapons into the North Korean peninsula, despite warnings from China.

Beijing then counter strikes with nuclear weapons of it’s own, obliterating South Korea and sending missiles towards California – which Trump believed (wrongly) was unthinkable. This is a limited strike, and China lets the United States know that it will send more if the US responds. President Trump wastes no time in unleashing another 20 missiles towards major Chinese cities. China responds by sending more missiles towards the United States, targeting major population centers throughout the continental United States. Trump jokes on Twitter that mostly Democrats were killed. Within 2 days, 5 million people are dead and injured. A truce is called. North Koreans stream over the border of China suffering from radiation sickness and hunger. Trade between Asia and the United States grinds to a halt, and in addition to the small scale nuclear war and catastrophic damage, millions of jobs are lost as a result of the loss of trade. Inflation skyrockets in Europe and the United States.

The US military, weakened by responding to the damage of the nuclear strikes, is unable to counter a Russian invasion of Eastern Europe from President Trump’s old friend Russia. Putin stops at the border of Germany, and NATO troops mass to prevent a further incursion, but without US assistance, they are unable to stop an invasion. World leaders cannot stomach the idea of a global nuclear war, and Russia is able to convince France, Spain and the United Kingdom to surrender without a single shot being fired. All of Europe’s weapons are now the property of Russia. In return, Russia promises peace and prosperity. Within a year, the cloud cover brought on by the attacks decimates crops around the world. Throughout the globe, food riots erupt as starving people clamor for bread and basic medical care. Americans now attempt to stream over the border to Mexico where it’s warmer and there’s a chance of sunshine and some food, but there’s a wall in place in some sections. Mexican troops fire on anyone attempting to cross, killing thousands.

Those who make it through are kidnaped, held for ransom, tortured and often killed. Martial law is imposed on the United States, and any individual caught protesting or out after a mandatory curfew is imposed is summarily executed by drone strikes under the ‘enemy combatant’ law. Nevertheless, rebel groups break out to overthrow the new leader. There are tanks in the streets, and the US becomes embroiled in a civil war. Meanwhile, the Syrian civil war has expanded into Turkey, Iran, Jordan, Israel and Saudi Arabia. Oil production comes to a complete standstill. This is World War III. Eventually, the US military successfully overthrows President Trump, but, unable to trust the very political system that brought this imperious monster into power, they retain martial law and suspend habeas corpus, cracking down on any rebellion and instilling strict order.

Experts who were able to survive the carnage look back in history to determine what went wrong, and the blame goes to those born between the years of 1981 and 2000. In the great election of November 2016, when Hillary Clinton lost in key swing states of Ohio, Florida and Michigan, Millennial’s either couldn’t get off their parent’s couch to vote, or if they did vote, decided to vote for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein. They didn’t get a chance to look up from their Pokemon Go on election day to notice who won. I didn’t really matter to them because they were sending a message to ‘the establishment’. Message received, loud and clear.

Of course, it doesn’t have to be this way. But it was up to the Millennials. Will they heed this warning from the future? Can they stop the madness?  If anyone can be blamed for a Hillary Clinton loss, it’s ‘young people’ – who have increased their support for Gary Johnson from 2% to 13%.  Okay, well maybe Hillary Clinton is also to blame, with her mixed medical messages, but one thing is clear: she will not be ‘pushing the button’ out of anger or impulse.  Donald Trump, if you recall, kept asking why we can’t use nuclear weapons if we own them.  He just doesn’t get it.  Even a limited use of these weapons of mass destruction harms the planet and it’s people.  It would set in motion mutual assured destruction, and the eventual extermination of the entire human race.  So one must ask the young people of today whether they, in fact, understand.  If not, get your shovels ready folks.  It’s time to start thinking about that bomb shelter addition to your house.

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