The statistics are bleak for most Trump fans, who are white, working-class males without a college degree (if only they had taken the course called ‘don’t vote for con men’). This group of voters are more likely to be unemployed then ever before. They are also more predisposed to drug and alcohol use, and suicide. They are more likely to attend NASCAR races and truck pulls. They might listen to pop country music. So how do you, you espresso-sipping reader of the New Yorker convince them to vote for Hillary Clinton, you elitist snob? Their crisis is real and Donald Trump has been the only candidate to seriously address (exploit?) their concerns. The Donald is wealthy, probably racist, xenophobic and consistency dishonest. Those are all acceptable qualities to Trump fans. While you, the astute reader of this website might understand that Trump is nothing more than a grifter with the capacity and potential intent to blow up the entire planet earth, it may be difficult to convey that message to his loyalists without them getting angry and coal rolling you at a stop light. Therefore, Hypeoxia has provided this handy step-by-step guide to convincing your friends and family to vote Dem this year!
TF (Trump Fan): The Mexicans are stealing our jobs!
A(answer): No no! The robots are stealing our jobs AND the Mexicans’ jobs too.
TF: Trump is building a wall.
A: How will we be able to flee to Mexico once the robots attack if there’s a wall there?!
TF: Trump is going to screen Muslim refugees to prevent future terror attacks!
A: LOLz bro if you’re so worried about surviving why do you smoke, drink and/or eat fast food?
TF: Clinton is going to take away all my guns!
A: She’s not, but since you’re highly likely to use one on yourself, she might be doing you a favor.
TF: But that wall will stop illegals from coming into the US.
A: Shovels bro. They have a bunch in Mexico. And they’re already tunneling under the boarder.
A: Tax returns showing Russian influence?
A: Atlantic City. Trump lied. People didn’t get paid.
A: Trump University.
TF: Trump has business experience!
TF: Hillary could die. Being a president is stressful.
A: If you hate her so much, then elect her.
TF: Her coughing!
A: His weight!
TF: Hillary is going to sell us out to the Saudis!
A: Trump will sell us out to the Russians.
That should wrap things up! If you have any of your own, feel free to comment below, or just post on Facebook.
(By John Plumbe – The image above is available from the United States Library of Congress’s Prints and Photographs division under the digital ID cph.3c12293.)